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Cultivating Resiliency: Letting go of numbing and powerlessness

Hello dear one,

Humans have an amazing ability to adapt and bounce back after experiencing hardships. Each of us has a well of resiliency that we can tap into when life throws curve-balls. While there might not be a one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with the worry, stress and uncertainty brought on by life, there are some things you can do to help bolster your capacity to deal with these challenging times:

Letting go of numbing and powerlessness

Numbing is the tendency to avoid, push away, and numb out in response to pain or distress. Powerlessness is the feeling that we have no control over our circumstances. These two tendencies go hand in hand—they are both ways of avoiding what’s painful by freezing up and dissociating from our bodies, emotions, and thoughts. When we numb or feel powerless to change things, we become stuck in a cycle where the only way out seems like passive acceptance of whatever happens next.

Cultivating resilience instead of numbing or feeling powerless means taking action that brings us closer to a desired outcome (for example: speaking up for ourselves at work; exercising when we don’t feel like it). Resilient people make an effort every day toward their goals—they put in work even when it doesn't feel easy or fun because they understand how important it is for them long-term.

Cultivate connection

  • Connect with others.

  • Connect with nature.

  • Connect with your inner self and higher self.

  • Connect with your inner child and use that connection to cultivate compassion for him/herself, for others, and for the world around them.

Use compassionate awareness of who you are to connect with your inner wisdom, understanding that this wisdom is inherent in every being on Earth, no matter what they may believe or how they choose to live their lives—and it can be found within yourself!

Cultivating awareness

When we practice awareness, we are choosing to be in the moment. It involves being present with what is going on around us, whether it's our thoughts or feelings. Awareness also means paying attention to how we feel about things and how our body reacts to them (i.e., does my chest feel tight when I think about my finances? Do I feel tension in my jaw when I'm angry?). It's important to note that this isn't just some airy-fairy idea—it has tangible benefits! For example, one study found that meditation was linked with lower levels of stress hormones and higher levels of positive emotions than were seen before training.

Cultivating meaning and purpose

Cultivating meaning and purpose can be a challenge when you are struggling with trauma. As with other parts of healing, it is important to consider what works for you. There are many ways that people find meaning and purpose, including:

  • Activities that fulfill them

  • Relationships with loved ones

  • Helping others

Find ways to become more resilient by making choices that work for you.

Rather than waiting to be rescued by someone else, the best thing you can do is to make choices that work for you. When you have fewer options, it’s sometimes difficult to know what works best. But as I mentioned above, resilience is all about making choices.

So how do you cultivate resilience? First, focus on what brings joy and meaning into your life. Ask yourself: What really matters? What makes me happy and fulfilled? Whatever comes up for you—whether it’s family, friends or animals—try setting aside time each week (or day) to spend some quality time doing the things that bring happiness into your life. If possible, surround yourself with supportive people who care about you and encourage positive change in your life rather than criticize or judge where they don't see progress immediately (which often happens).

Second: Find ways of being kinder toward yourself! This will require changing the way we think about ourselves (which takes practice), but it's possible when we commit ourselves wholeheartedly towards this goal over time instead of giving up after a few weeks when things don't go exactly as planned at first."

I understand that resilience can be elusive. The skills involved take time to cultivate and practice, especially if you’ve been struggling with the effects of trauma for a long time. If you’re unsure where to start, working with a therapist or coach can help. They will be able to provide a safe space for you to develop your self-awareness and discover what choices work best for you. The only thing I ask is that you don’t give up on yourself.

You’re worth it.

Here to support you in your journey to Authentic Soul Care.

~Lea, xo

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