Updated: Dec 22, 2020
I’ve been spending a little time reflecting on my journey thus far. I recently had a chance to connect with a friend who’s become curious about what it looks like to not drink. Our conversation led me to recall what had brought me to a similar place many years ago. This isn’t really a piece about sobriety, but rather one of choosing hope; choosing to step into the light, and to choose love, in times of overwhelm and darkness.
Our childhoods and upbringings are unique and varied. None of us, even those from the same family, have had the same experience. It’s telling to reflect and get in touch with where we’ve come from, with what’s helped to shape our worldview. There are lots of different layers to what has shaped us into who we’ve become today.
I am a mama to a preteen and two teens. I am witnessing, through my own lens, my children in a new stage of development. I’ve observed the uncertainty experienced differently by each of them, as we’ve tried our best to collectively respond to Covid -19 and all its protocols.
Things are opening up, our county is going “Green,” yet what does all of this really mean? There’s been great unrest in our nation and our world surrounding race and viewpoint. In different ways each of my children have experienced dashed hopes in regards to all of this. I continue to remind them to be true to themselves and to treat others with kindness and respect, and to hope and pray for a better future.
”It’s always darkest before the dawn.” — English theologian, Thomas Fuller.
Often there seems to be trial and tribulation experienced before a breakthrough. I know for me, throughout my journey, this has often been true. I have an amazing and beautiful life today. However, my story has been filled with dark nights and my soul has surely known despair. Life events, circumstances and choices, exasperated by a family lineage of alcoholism, led me to my own personal depths.
There was a period when I experienced a pit of darkness.
Fortunately, it’s been quite some time since I’ve felt such hopelessness. I am grateful to say that I don’t live in this place anymore and haven’t for quite some time. Your story may differ greatly. However, I do believe it’s a universal truth that we all have times where there’s an absence of hope. Where it just feels really hard and the path forward is a bit unclear.
Yet, the sun continues to rise, the grass continues to grow, seasons change and, although there is death, there is always new life. Our desire for something better emerges, and if we choose to be aware and awake to possibility, there’s opportunity to choose hope.
To begin to trust in the innate inner knowing that so lovingly guides us if we lean into an open and willing stance. Even if life‘s not perfect, we can begin to desire with anticipation a new truth and a new happiness. Even through times of struggle and uncertainty, there’s opportunity.
We can look towards a better future, for ourselves and for our children. We can choose to trust that the light will guide us through the night. That dawn will come and there will be a new day, a new awakening, to a deeper knowing of our truth and that to which we are called. May we learn to see the grace hidden in the cracks. We are alright, we are okay.
We are often pushed to our borders in order to grow into something more beautiful and more true.
We’re invited to surrender and remember the power we hold, the light within us. Now is the time to rise. Let us move from frightened to fortified. Let our hearts be the amplifying voice. Let the world change because of our loving awareness.
May there be inward peace and peace in our world. May we choose to love and be loved. May we, together, believe in and choose hope!
Grace and Peace,