How to Find Your Way Home to Yourself When You're Feeling Lost
Updated: Dec 22, 2020
As a Holistic Mindset Coach/Spiritual Director., I get the privilege of getting to know the most vulnerable side of some of the brightest, most successful people I know. People who seem to have their lives all together so often come to me because they feel lost or directionless. And I’m not surprised by this at all, because it is such a normal part of being a human being in an ever-changing world. The moving parts between complex people in a complex landscape, means we are constantly adjusting to change.
Honestly, if you think about it, most of us do an amazing job of adapting to change on a daily basis. But there are times when the changes that have come to your outer circumstances or your inner values system feel too big or too many to quickly adapt to and they begin to make you feel like you can’t find your footing, like you aren’t sure where you belong or who you are anymore in this new set of circumstances. When you feel lost, here are some intentional habits to help you find your way home.
Six Habits To Help You When You Feel Lost
1. Find Your Way with Journaling
There is so much power in writing down your thoughts. By literally pulling the thoughts out of your head and giving them a physical place to live, you free your mind to focus on just the things you really need to give your energy. Journaling might mean a morning brain dump of all your thoughts, like the practice calling Morning Pages. Or it might mean sitting down at a coffee shop once a week and answering guided questions like those you find in the 52 Mondays seasonal journals, or it might mean documenting the ups and downs of each day in a leather bound dated journal. Try a few ways and see what style and consistency seems to bring you the most clarity and direction.
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2. Let Nature be Your Guide
Start the habit of getting outside, even for as little as 10 minutes, every day. Walk, hike, meditate as you listen to the sounds of nature around you. Or, just stand outside and take in the beauty: watch a bird soar, notice a resilient blade of grass daring to peek through the cool snow, listen to the sound of leaves rustling as they let the wind carry them. When you don’t know what to do next, let nature remind you that the only constant in life is change and that you aren’t lost, you’re merely moving into the next season.
3. Seek Solace with Silent Solitude
Sometimes we can’t find our way because we are drowning in noise. It’s hard to form meaningful thoughts when constantly surrounded by chatty people, television or radio, or social media. We are not meant to live with this much stimulation. Seek to add more silence to your days. This might be combined with your time in nature or separately… in a hot bath, or the time right when you wake up but before you check your phone. It’s amazing how much we can learn about ourselves simply by sitting in silent solitude.
4. Ask for Directions
When you are on the road and lost, unable to find where you need to go with the tools available to you, what do you do? You stop and ask for directions. And in life, sometimes you need to seek guidance and direction from someone who can see your path with a different or fresh perspective, someone who can ask you the right kinds of questions to help you find your way back to your authentic self. As a trained Spiritual Director and Coach, I offer individual coaching/spiritual direction, where I walk alongside you and hold sacred space for you on your spiritual journey.
5. Recognize the Wisdom in the Space Between
Katy Friedman Miller says in her article about surrendering to the in-between, “boldness is mostly putting one foot in front of the other while something else is happening that we can’t see.” This space between what was and what is coming next is referred to as liminal space. It is a season of waiting and not knowing. This can be a scary and intimidating place to be, but it is said that all transformation takes place in this liminal space...if we let it. You may feel lost, but you aren’t, you are transforming. Wait with intention, putting one foot in front of the other. Don’t rush out of it, but make space for listening, reflecting, and becoming deeply connected to your authentic self.
6. Do Something Each Day That Lights You Up
As mentioned above, living in liminal space means sitting in some pain or accepting that something that once was is now gone while not quite knowing what is ahead. It’s not easy. But, it will be worth it. While you wait, find something every day that lights you up. Make it a daily ritual to squeeze joy in where you can. Cuddle with a cat, dance to a song that makes you smile, froth your milk for your morning cup of coffee, paint your nails a trendy color. If it makes you smile or brings you a little slice of joy, it’s not frivolous, it’s soul work.
Keep showing up for yourself every day. Before long, you’ll start feeling a little less lost and a lot more at home.
Grace and Peace,